Banned Grey Poupon Ad - So funny!

This commercial was banned for lewd content. I am never too old for a little potty humor, though. I mean, people take life too seriously sometimes. And they are saying Poupon not poop-on! (Giggles).

Race Day - Ironman Texas 2014

Ironman - The Best Drug On Earth

          I am trying to figure out where to start my story. I feel like it begins the week before the race but I am not sure if I want to write an entire book. As a compromise to myself (and to spare you from reading forever), I'll start three days before race day. That starts me on Wednesday May 14, 2014.

          Wednesday morning I jumped out of bed and got all of my kiddos ready as fast as possible! I felt like I was on speed, I was so excited! It was the day I was going to check-in to Ironman!!! My hubby took off of work so that he could accompany me at check-in and I was pumped with excitement! I was buzzing with happiness until I remembered something that had been weighing on me for over a month....(and this is where you men can stop reading, maybe skim down to the next paragraph), I was scheduled to start my "time of the month" the next day - two days before race day!!!!!! Cue the water works. I started bawling. Like, two year old crying. My hubby drove me all the way to check-in with tears streaming down my face. He tried to console me. He promised that I could do the race while cramping, bleeding, etc. However, I was convinced (at that moment) that I might be in over my head. You see, my "time of the month" is just so darn hard on me. I literally spend two days in bed during that time, just bleeding everywhere. During all of my training, the first few days of my period I would keep my workouts verrrrrry minimal, if at all. I mean, it literally drains me of everything. I'm like a zombie. So.....I was petrified that I would have to do Ironman feeling like that!!!! I finally stopped crying and decided to stop thinking about it long enough to enjoy check-in and Ironman Village. We got to The Woodlands and I checked-in, got my bag (YAY), got my wrist band, and walked around/shopped at Ironman Village! It WAS great despite the fact that I was still very upset.

Here I am standing in front of Ironman Village, pimping my new back pack!!!

Here I am shopping at the Ironman store. Gotta get the "Find Your Name" shirt!!!!

Here I am pointing to MY name on the wall of athletes!!

          Thursday morning I woke up with a better attitude! I DID start my period the night before but I had been praying about it all day Wednesday and I felt much better about it! I figured that God just wanted me to overcome more than just the race. He knew I could do it and I knew He would help me do it, no matter what. Thursday night was banquet dinner for all of the athletes. I went with my other two team mates, their friends/family, and my awesome hubby. We enjoyed the dinner and tried not to cry during all of the inspirational videos. It was so much fun! Towards the end of the dinner, Mike Reilly asked if anyone had lost any significant amount of weight during training. Tons of people stood up, including myself. When he asked if it was over 50 lbs, most sat down. Over 70, almost everyone sat down except me and a few other guys. Those left standing were asked to come up on stage. I HONESTLY didn't want to go up there. Have ever been pulled to do something, even when your own inner self doesn't feel like the one acting on it? It felt like someone else dragged me up on stage. It was very strange. Anyways, once up there Mike asked how much weight I had lost and to tell my story. I think I said something like this, "Well, I had four kids and got reallllly fat. I was 200 lbs but now I am 120 lbs!" A few other guys had lost 75-or so lbs and one guy had lost a whopping 200 lbs!!!! He "won" and received a pair of Newton running shoes, obviously very deserved. After I sat back down in my seat, a man from the Ironman video company asked if they could interview me and follow me during the race. They thought my story would be inspirational for other moms out there and it fit their "first-timers" theme. (Oh-yeah....Ironman Texas 2014 hit an all-time record for the most first-timers ever! There were like 1,500 of us!!) It was an AWESOME night!!!

There I am, the only girl! Talking to Mike Reilly!!! The man in black, on the far right, is the guy who lost 200 lbs!

          Friday morning was the practice swim. I really wanted to practice the swim because I was very apprehensive about swimming 2.4 miles. It seemed soooooo long in my mind! Yes, I had already swam over 2.4 miles in the pool. Yes, I had also open-water swam the distance BUT I also took a ton of breaks. So, my two team mates and I tackled the practice swim. We only swam 800 meters but we all felt great! It was a very nice practice and it made me feel a little bit better about the swim. It just still seemed like it would be VERY long swim and I was still very nervous for the next morning. However, I am glad we got in and practiced. Next the hubby and I went to iHop for brunch and to start carb loading. I TRIED to eat. This was the beginning of what I have named the "Ironman makes me anorexic" syndrome. I was so apprehensive, nervous, and anxious about the next day that I had to force down every single bite of my food. It was awful. I KNEW that I HAD to eat.....but all I wanted to do was NOT eat. Finally we got home and I took a long nap. I was soooooo exhausted from my "time of the month". Once again, I was fearful that I would not be able to do the race, surely I would be too tired. I had to remind myself, again, that God would be with me. I repeated my go-to scripture, Isaiah 41:10. Soon enough it was dinner time. Ugh! Another moment of "Ironman anorexia" hit me. I tried very hard to eat my baked potato. I knew I needed the fuel, but oh man, it was hard to eat. I did the best that I could to eat as much as possible. Finally, it was bedtime. My family gathered around me and said the sweetest prayer for me; all of my kids asked God for special things for the next day. It was incredibly sweet. Once again, I found myself trying to do what I needed to do to feel my best for race day and finding very difficult to do so. In this case, it was sleeping. Geez. I think I slept from 10-11 and then again from 2-4. Not cool.

Saturday morning arrived quickly and I woke up at 4 am feeling very, very, very anxious. Did I mention how anxious I felt? The "eating thing" reared it's ugly head again. My breakfast of eggs and oatmeal was pure torture. I think I ate a few bites of oatmeal. I know I only ate one bite of my eggs. I was furious with myself that I could not force down my breakfast. I needed that food!! I'm hypoglycemic and simply cannot perform without adequate amount of food. Not only that, but I was still breastfeeding and (in case you forgot) it was my "time of the month". I was scared that I had not eaten enough food but it was time to leave, and I couldn't force down another bite. On the car ride to the race I tried to stop the butterflies by listening to music. I listened to "Best Day of My Life" by American Authors and "Oceans" by Hillsong UNITED. I think the music soothed me because when we arrived at the race I felt a lot less anxious!!  I did my morning duties, such as, putting my food on my bike and air in my tires. Next was the mile walk to the swim start. By this time, I was feeling even less anxious!! I was almost getting purely excited! I arrived at the swim start, got my body marked with my numbers, put on my wetsuit, and prepared to begin my long day. I was almost completely anxious-free by then.... it was wonderful!

Me, Lisa, Kerry, and Jennifer

Wetsuit on, ready to GO! My hubby is THE BEST!

Before we knew it, my team mates and I were ready to get in the water! OMG! It was TIME! We walked hand-in-hand in the huge crowd and into the water. By then, I was completely calm. All of my worries or anxieties were gone.

I. was. ready.

The water felt great. Not too cold but certainly cold enough for it to be wetsuit legal! I floated around, looking for a good spot to start. I never had time to choose a spot though because......

BOOM!

The cannon went off WAY before I had expected.

Suddenly it was arms.

Legs.

Feet.

Goggles.

Swimmers were everywhere, yet somehow, not too obtrusive to my swimming space.

I was swimming. Steady swimming. I had to stop every once in a while for the first 10 minutes to let the faster swimmers get ahead. I was never pushed down, choked, or bumped too hard. It wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it would be, swimming with 2,000 other athletes. Soon enough, it began to be much less congested and I got into a good rhythm. I'm definitely not a fast swimmer, so I was trying my hardest to do my very best. I continually repeated three things to myself in the water to help me:

1. You ARE NOT going to allow yourself to be "tired" today. Not today.
2. "I will strengthen you and I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" - Isaiah 41:10
3.The lyrics: "You called me out into the waters, the great unknown, my feet may fail. But there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand. - You never failed and you won't start now." - "Oceans" by hillsong UNITED

The time passed by SO QUICKLY! I had been so curious as to how long this daunting 2.4 mile swim would be.....and no sooner had I begun, I was looking into the canal at all of the spectators!! One time when I looked up, to sight where I was swimming, I noticed a friend waving at me! Then another look gave me my most favorite sight of all - my hubby!! I reached the end of the swim and a HUGE wave of relief rushed over me. I was done with the swim!!!!!!! I looked at my watch to see my time....

Pink cap - middle - face down

1 hour and 42 minutes. For ME....I was ecstatic. I had been guessing it would be a 2 hour swim. One day I will be faster.....one day.

Waving to my hubby - goggle faced and all

Getting wetsuit stripped

Transition was quick and painless. My total transition time was 8:01. I loved having a helper! How nice! They hand you your things, give you water, and ask what else they can do for you. Ironman volunteers are special people!

I found my bike and prepared myself for a long ride.

Getting my bike!

 My bike ride was SO GREAT! I can barely think of what to say about it. I rode 112 miles and only stopped a total of 2 minutes!! It was very windy, which made for some slow miles here or there. Ultimately it was perfectly uneventful. I went to the restroom on the bike, which allowed for more time for my run (thank goodness). Had I stopped and waited in the lines for the restrooms it would have been a MUCH longer ride!! I'm very glad that I chose the stinkier choice! Ha! It was a beautiful day, a mere 82 degrees. I could not have asked for a better bike ride. I counted down my long ride in 10 mile increments and before I knew it, I was on mile 100. I felt like I was on drugs. I was high with the excitement that I was almost finished with the bike portion! I talked to a few people during those last few miles. There was a girl on her 5th Ironman, this one in particular was her first one post-baby! I had a lot to discuss with her! As I rounded that last mile, it hit me that I was TRULY about to be done with 2/3 of my race! I was almost sad that the day was going by so fast! I cried as I came into transition.

A friend drove on the course and snapped a picture. This was about mile 10 - 20? I couldn't stop smiling!

Bike time was 7 hours and 4 minutes. I had guessed that it would be 7.5 hours-8 hrs. Again, I was very happy with my performance!


Transition was quick again. My total time was 6:36. Except I had forgotten something vital to my race.

All smiles coming off of the bike! (Even though I was a little sad to find out that I was last out of my team mates!)

Looking for my run bag

The face of me finding out that I had forgotten my water bottle and electrolytes! OH NO!

I began my run feeling desperate and unhopeful. You see, my volunteer had forgotten to give me my water bottle. I don't remember things very well, especially in rushed situations, and especially without looking into my bag myself. I had trusted my volunteer  to hand me everything that I needed. I came out of transition and saw my hubby immediately. He screamed to me that I had forgotten my water bottle, and consequently, my electrolytes. I panicked. Totally panicked. No way could I do the ENTIRE run without those two things!!! He told me not to worry about it and just begin my run. I trusted him and took off. I was so upset. In just 6 minutes, I had found out that I was trailing behind my team mates AND that I didn't have any electrolytes. Big bummer. Mile 1 was a whirlwind of thoughts of planning my run with my missing items. I made a corner and saw my hubby. SOMEHOW he had ran to the car, gotten a water bottle and electrolytes, and made it back to meet me. He had done all of that before I even hit mile 3! He later told me that he had sprinted an almost 5 minute mile to and from the car. Have I mentioned how much he loves me? Now....no one needs to go and turn me in....but he handed me my items and a wave of relief hit me. NOW I could do this thing. I immediately took some electrolytes since I was already cramping in my inner thigh. I began to run much faster. I made three 10-ish minute miles and a few more 11-ish minute miles. I'm glad that I ran that pace for those first few miles because I was quickly rewarded. I headed into the waterway and saw my friend, and team mate Lisa!!! I caught up with her and was so happy to be running with a friend! We agreed that we would stick together for the entirety of the race. I am forever grateful that we made that decision. The next moment we were nearing our friends and family. We were finally able to hear the cheering that we had been talking about on so many training runs!!!!! Our crowd seriously MAY have been one of the BIGGEST crowds out there. It was amazing to see the sea of people yelling for us!!!! It still gives me chills.

Across the water - I am in the pink shirt, hands in the air, waving and dancing for our spectators!!!

The ONLY sign I saw was my HUGE face floating through the crowd! I laughed so hard when I saw it!

Hubby tried to get a picture of the entire support crew. This is only half though. 

Mimi, Paw-paw, and Dee-Dee. I was told she was cheerleader extraordinaire!

As we finally arrived to my friends and family, I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was SO EXCITED!!!! So I did what any crazy person would do during an Ironman, I danced!!!! I danced myself all the way down the walkway. I was jumping up and down, and screaming, "I'm DOING IT!! I"M DOING IT!!" I just couldn't contain myself!!! And if you don't believe me, click here. It's all on video, in case the pictures aren't good enough for you!

Seriously......so excited!!!

The day was amazing. At mile 12, I saw another familiar face! I noticed someone was on a bike taking pictures of me. I recognized that it was my cousin, who I hadn't seen in years!! Wow! A quick hug to him and I was on my way again.

Then my mood changed.

At mile 14, I "bonked".

Suddenly I became VERY dizzy. I took a count of what I had been eating during the last 14 miles:

1. TONS of Perform drink
2. A few pretzels
3. One gel

Uh-oh. "Ironman anorexia" had gotten to me again!

I hadn't had enough food. My fears surfaced. I panicked. I was SO DIZZY! I just knew I was moments away from passing out. My dreams of finishing drew further away from me as I began to enter into tunnel vision. The only thing that swarmed through my head was my hubby's voice:

EAT!

EAT!!!

I barely made it to aid-station 15 where I grabbed a handful of Bonk Breakers. Lisa reminded me that I "was going to be totally fine, I just needed to eat".

This was the hardest. part. of. the. race.

FORCING myself to eat those things when I ABSOLUTELY, 100%, DID NOT want to eat. The Bonk Breakers felt like concrete in my mouth and Lisa once referred to them as "kitty litter"!!!

But.....I knew I had no choice. I had to eat those things to finish the race....or not. Thank goodness for Bonk Breakers!

The entire rest of the run was a battle between dizziness vs eating Bonk Breakers. I'm fairly positive that Dizziness almost won a few times. At one point as we were crossing a bridge it looked like the railings were bending and the ground felt like a trampoline. It was crazy stuff.

By mile 16 or 17, we decided that we would be walking to the finish line. It was a decision based on the fact that either we walk - and definitely make it, or take a chance not crossing the finish line by running. As we approached our spectators again, I was barely there mentally. I don't even remember most of what happened in the passing. A little later my hubby had been warned that I wasn't feeling well so he came to walk a few steps with us. He promised that we were almost there and it would all be worth it once we crossed the finish line. I wasn't so sure at that point.

I repeated OVER and OVER:

"I will strengthen you and I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" - Isaiah 41:10

Finally we were there.....my feet hurt with blisters, I was still very dizzy, and I could no longer lift my legs but SOMEHOW it all came together. We turned the "finish" corner and we began to RUN down the shoot, hand in hand. I had so many emotions, I was shaking. I was tired, amazed, delirious, happy, elated, very proud, and so much more. I didn't see or hear anything else around me. As we approached the finish line, all I could see was my accomplishment. I KNOW there was loud music, cheering, bells, etc. I KNOW my name was called and announced as an Ironman. All I  heard was the screaming of my own inner self......I DID IT!!!! I DID IT!!!!! I felt my hard work, I saw my trials (like being on my period), and I tasted my victory.

I AM FOREVER AN IRONMAN.

A homeschooling, mother of 4 kids Ironman.

Here I am with my finish line volunteer. I'm sure she threw up in her mouth a little bit from my stench.

Total time: 15:38:47

I FINALLY got to hug my hubby and family/friends. I smelled terrible. We all laughed at my horrendous smell. I mean, I HAD used the restroom on myself all day. AND......I had bled down my legs all day from my "time of the month". I was a mess. A happy, proud, and victorious mess.

My awesome hubby!!

My dad and I, big smiles!!!!!

Mother in law! More big smiles!

Amanda, Evan, and me!!!

Kristy and me!!!

I couldn't sleep that night. I don't know what else causes natural highs but crossing the finish line of Ironman sure does!!! It is the best drug on earth. I was HIGH on my Ironman drug. I couldn't rest a bit. I slept from 4-7 and woke up feeling like a million dollars. I hope the feeling never fades but if it does, I know a good "fix". Perhaps Ironman Texas 2015???